Christmas

Merry Christmas to all ! I hope everyone got what they want for Christmas. I got several random things big and small. I didn't really have a list or anything like that - it was more just the whole wrapped presents to decorate my tree. I did however get an iPOD. Apparantly it has been a hot seller this year - people were dying to get it or something. Of course, with me, I am jsut like "huh? what is it" kind of expression. Not that I dislike it, I just really don't have too much opinion or application for it. I figure once I read up on it, I can totally fall in love with it. or not. I don't know why, but I feel like I never really need anything, but I do like getting presents. So in reality - it doesn't really matter what I get as long as it's wrapped. I think I just like going through the motions more than anything else. How crazy huh? Of course, Peter thinks I am really unappreciative since I didn't really have a big expression.

Another month has gone by without an entry. As with every passing month, my life has just been full of surprises at every corner. No, I am not married, I bought a condo last month. It was a crazy experience. I decided during the last week of October that I would want to have a condo of my own. I closed on December 4. During this 1.5 month experience, I had to figure out funding, find an agent, find a lender, etc. It was crazy, especially when my closing date got dragged on and on. The great news is that now I am all moved in. I have 2 beds and 2 baths. Both somewhat furnished. My dining room is the only real empty hole in my condo. I figure I can only work on a couple of rooms at a time.

I am finally on my final stretch of Masters. The good thing is that I only have my thesis left, but the bad thing is that I should start looking for a new job. My question is, how do you do that? I am so confused. I don’t even know where to begin. I saw a flier today for a position, but how do I know if I am qualify for it? I know on paper, my CV looks awesome, but do I really have the skills to do the job? That is my next hurdle, actually figuring out what to do with my life. I could always go to more school, but that is so draining. I must say I have it way easier than a lot of Master students since I do get paid for going to school, but do I want that for another 5 years if I do a PhD? I am already a doctor, would the extra letters really get me that much more in life?

While I am contemplating about this life decision, I will be baking some traditional Christmas stuff. This Christmas, I will actually stay in SLC. I got a white Christmas tree and borrowed a dozen Nutcrackers from my friend. I will try to make a turkey and ham for Christmas dinner. I hope the people that come would come real hungry, otherwise lots of food will go to waste.

Merry Christmas to all now!

More on condo

My life has been nothing but about my condo. I talk to the lender one minute, then my agent, then my parents. It all revolves around “money.” You would not think money is so important until you buy a place. One minute is the interest rate, the other minute is bargaining for a lower price, etc. The seller and I have been bickering over $1500!! In the end, the two agents got annoyed and decided to chip in to make up the difference. Go agents. Then there were all these paper work as to how to cut up the money. Apparently, they can’t just write me a check for the difference and I put it into my downpay, we need to put it into an escrow account and it’s considered a concession. The other way to go around it was to just have the seller sells it for less and pay less commission to the agent. This way she saves $52! Can you believe it, we are down to less than $100 difference and the old lady is still pondering?! My parents were ready to cut a check the moment she heard both of us are unwilling to budge, but to my defense, the old lady is only going down from her asking price by $500!! That is nothing in the whole scheme of things.

I am definitely going crazy just thinking about the place. It would be so cool to have my place, but at the same time kinda scary. I have never bought anything big before. This is like my first big big purchase. One good thing about it is that I can have a party, do anything I want to the place and it will be ok since it’s mine. On the other hand, I can’t really do much to the place because all my money is sucked into the place. What a dilemma huh? I should just be independently wealthy. That would solve all my problems. Then I can just have everyone do what I want to the place. I hope I will never default on the place. It’s weird having to pay out so much of my paycheck just for a place. It’s only one thing, but it will just suck me dry.

Condo

I just put in an offer for a condo yesterday. I am hearing back from them today. I am soooooooo nervous. I wonder if they would like my offer and what kind of counteroffer are they thinking about. It's kinda exciting to get a new place. Ok let me tell you all about my new crib if she accepts my offer.

It overlooks the city and the mountains. It's a corner unit. There are 2 bedrooms and 2 baths. The bathrooms have like fake marbly feel to it and they are both really big. The bedrooms have the views of the mountains. They don't have walk in closets, but they are one side of the wall and it's really really deep so I can keep lots of stuff stored away. There are little linnen closets along the wall next to the masterbedroom. The two bedrooms can be closed off from the rest of the apt by a sliding door.

In my living area, there is a 3 door sliding door thingie so I can oversee the city. I don't have a patio tho, it's jsut a narrow railing outside. There are two chadeliers, one in the dining room and one in the corner of the living room area. I am not sure the second one is used for. The kitchen is a narrow hallway type. It has a double stove, a range and a fridge along one side of the wall. The other side is a sink and counter space around it. There are cabinets above everything. It's interesting, but the wallpaper will definitely have to go.

The dining room has two built in shelving stuff. I guess that is for dishes and china. Since I don't have any, I may have to put my stuffed animals there.

Anyhow, the whole palce is 1125 sq ft. which is humongous. I figure I will still get a roommate to pay for the mortgage. hehe. I also have a pool with a big deck and underground parking.

ok enough about my place... I will hear back by 5 today if they accepted my offer. I am jsut too anxious.

October

I guess I have been neglecting my journal. Let’s see – in a month what have I done? I started to hang out with more pharmacy residents, which is cool. I am starting to have a gang, except they do not always remember to call me. We carved pumpkins this past weekend for Halloween. It turns out they trick-or-treat on Saturday because it’s bad to worship the devil on Sunday. I don’t recall ever doing that when Halloween fell on Sunday, but what do I know? Then we played Jinga with added words on the blocks. Not all that interesting considering we don’t really know each other that well. Would have been fun if we played truth or dare! The cool thing about his apartment is that there is a hot tub in the court yard. That was pretty fun except they kept it really hot so I have to jump from the pool for a bit and then the hot tub for a bit.

The week before that I had a minor surgery for my cyst on my leg. Nothing special, just a hassle having to do it. It was pretty cool because I elected not to be totally under anesthesia so I got to see some of the surgery. (Plus I am too cheap) The cyst was on the back of my thigh so it was hard for me to twist my body around. Lidocaine and Narcaine works really well. The surgery took approximate 30 minutes between all the prepping and etc, but the actual part was like 15 minutes. The surgery part was $1400! It was crazy – essentially that room was $100 / minute. $300 for my anesthesia drug cost. I knew I shouldn’t have taken that extra one – would have saved the health system $50! I am curious how much the doc is going to charge me.

Then the week before that, I was really stressed and trying to pump out my two posters for AMCP meeting in Baltimore. They were the first ones that I designed by myself since last time the data guy in my department wanted to do it. I used PowerPoint instead of the drawing program since I am no artist anyway. I had to fudge some data and make things look nice.

Now this week I am just stressed about my exam. I can’t believe I have 3 exams this week. I took two yesterday and I didn’t do too well on one of them. We will see about the other one. I am taking this class just for the joy of learning and it’s going to bring down my GPA. What is up with that? I should have just sit in, since this class turned out to be a lot of work.

Nothing major planned for this week. Just the usual… oh wait, this is Halloween week. I still have to find a cool custom. I think I will be shopping on Saturday morning. I was thinking of getting a little angelic devil outfit. I figure that would be cool.

I will try to post a picture next week about it.

September

Wow, I totally didn't keep this journal up-to-date. Well, I finally finished with my move. All my "stuff" were either sold, tossed, or shipped to me. Due to the incredible costs charged for postage, I didn't ship that much stuff. I was glad my friends were able to come and help me. You guys are the best, but I guess you guys already know that.

Since I got back, I have been sick. I can't seem to get rid of my cold, and I have just been sleeping a lot. Plus now school has started, it's really killing my free time. I took all these classes that require you to read a lot! I mean like over 100 pages a week! What do they think I am? The one good thing is that some of them are like reading a novel. Which isn't like reading biostatistics, but then again, you don't really read for math. You kinda just do it.

For Labor Day, I hung out with my Asian peeps. We had pot luck and then one day we went shopping. I saw the movie White Chicks with them in the dollar theater. It was actually pretty good. I totally didn't expect it. It looked like a dumb and dumber type of movie. Anyhow, my bads... shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

When I was shopping, I bought a pair of snow pants. Now I am all ready for the winter. I also got a season pass to Snowbird... anyone wants to join me this winter???? I think you guys should all come out here at least once while I am here and ski. It's great snow here plus you get to hang out with me. What more can you want??

Well, let's all the updates for now.

yada yada

I think I am super sensitive these days. Maybe it's true that the more west you go, you do get soft. I hope it's just a phase. I haven't seen Peter for like a week. It's been crazy in the hospital so he stays late all the time. One night he stayed til 3 AM.... how is that different being on call since he would have to get up at 4:45 to go on rounds.

It's finalized that I will go to NJ next Saturday, which means I wont' see him for a whole week. At least I can get some errands done. Unfortunately, I got a new job which will start this Friday, but I am going to miss 2 days of work bc of this trip :( I hope they won't mind. Plus I will miss a day of tennis class. That sucks since I pay like 11 dollars per class. I guess I am being cheap about the whole thing but I have to pay off the vacation club thing we bought :(

Moving on, I am reading Atlas Shrugged. It's very interesting. I think I am turning out to be like the masses. I don't think I care about improving things anymore. I think I am just burnt out. Interesting that I get burnt out now not like years ago when I was in Pharmacy school.

Jersey Stuff

To everyone's shock, my parents sold the house in NJ. It's weird to hear that since all my stuff is still there, the house is still furnished!! It will be quite a rush for me to get everything settled there in like a weekend. The good part would be that, I would not have to take care of the bills and etc, but I guess I probably won't be visiting too often now that I don't have a place to stay. I wished everything was planned a little better so I would still have a car there.

One redeaming thing about the timing is that I may do a business trip there and jsut tacked on this moving thing. At least it saves me airfare. Wonder if I can write off the rental car too. That may be a stretch, but I guess I should be happy with something. I wonder what I will do with all my stuff. I wonder how I would mail or get all the stuff I still want here. Once it's here, what would I do with it? *sigh* I need a house so things like this won't happen to me.

Peter is worried about all my stuffed animals. I think Peter would throw them away, but I want to keep them. They are like my babies. If we had our own place I could decorate the apartment/house with them, but we don't.

This past weekend we purchased Trendwest vacations. It's kinda neat, you buy certain amount of points and then you can go on vacations with them for life. Granted the vacation was expensive, but considering we can use it for the rest of our lives, I think it's worth it. It was our first purchase together. We should actually get a joint credit card, but then again, I would end up paying for most of it I am afraid.

Anyhow, I guess that's all for now.

Pioneer Weekend to be

It’s the end of another work week.  I am looking forward to doing some organization and reading this weekend.  I still have all my photos from graduation and before I moved here etc.  Yeah, I am a little behind on that wouldn’t you say.  I will finish filling in all the gaps on my cruise too.  Then slowly, I can update my webpage, but that may be saved for another long weekend.  I also want to get some sort of filing system for my papers and etc.  All these little things can really clutter up my little space. 

My book readings are slowing down.  I started the Hillary Clinton book, The Lexus and Olive Tree, and Atlas Shrugged.  I am in the midst of all three, but I guess I should really follow through with what I started.  I think my goal should be the Clinton book since I started that first out of the three.  I guess it’s a little boring so I am not all that into it.  The book is a lot about the politics during Bill’s presidency which isn’t all the juicy compared to his scandal and impeachment.  I also need to start this book, “Love Languages.”  It’s suppose to enlighten people about marriage, commitment, and all that jazz.

I don’t have tennis this week, but I hope Peter would play with me.  I want to show him I am getting better, I still don’t play as well as him, but I am getting there.  Oh by the way, in case you are wondering 7/24 is Pioneer Day.  That was the day when Joseph Smith decided to settle in Utah because this is where the Zion will be.  To me, it’s just a freebie day.  There will be parades and fireworks and maybe cotton candies too.  Yum yum.  

My Month of July

Jackie came to visit me this past weekend.  She arrived at 4:20 AM, that's right it's in the morning.  Apparently due to some storm in the East Coast.  The good thing is that I live really close to the airport so I can just pick her up when she called.  I still made it before she got her luggage and etc. 
 
After a brief "nap" we headed to Lagoon.  It's an amusement park with a water park.  Since we are not big roller coster person, we just stayed most of our time in the water park.  I went on my first water slide with the tubing.  It was really fun.  Then we met up with my roommate at night to go to a Piano Bar.  I have never been to a piano bar, so it was a very interesting experience.  They played a lot of country music and of course out of all the people there, it's the old folks that tried to talk to Jackie and I.
 
Friday was the coolest day ever.  We went on our first hot air balloon ride.  It was really neat to see everything in fresh air, not like what you get in the airplane.  It wasn't scary at all.  The balloon actually moved very slowly.  Afterwards we did a little shopping and sight seeing around Park City.  Afterwards, we had to take a nap since we had to get up at 5:30 for the hot air balloon.   After our nap, we went to a club.  Unlike the night before, we got whole bunch of young'ins.  They claimed to be 21 - 22, but when you are in UT, these kids look like they are 18 especially with the blond hair and baby face.
 
Next day, I had tennis in the morning.   Then we went to visit The Great Salt Lake and antelop Island.  What is interesting about the place is that there are ~700 buffalos living on this island, but we didn't see any running in the wild.  We saw three in the pen!!  They claimed it's because of the weather, but I think it's a conspiracy to get people to pay $8 to drive around a salty island that is not suitable for anything else.  We then went to a Neurosurgeon's house party.  While it was neat to see them drink and etc, but the women / ladies there are all married and talk about kids and how they don't see their husbands.  We got bored pretty quick.  Unfortunately, they went to a club after we left.  I wouldn't have minded going to a club... at least I don't have to hear about how they put their husband through med school.
 
Sunday was Jackie's last day.  We just drove around downtown and visited the LDS temple.  It was very interesting to learn about their history and their views.  I don't think I will join, but I think it's good that people have their faith.  Then, I streaked / highlighted my hair red.  I like it, even though everyone is skeptical about it.  I think it turned out fine, it's only hair anyways.
 
 

I finished my beginner tennis class this past weekend so I am eligible to be in intermediate tennis next week. I have been playing a lot more lately with my new tennis buddy. We played twice during the week and some after class. He is pretty cool. That reminds me, why do girls suck? I got stood up by two different girls in my class on two different days. Then I was supposed to play volleyball with this other girl on Sunday. Guess what? She calls an hour before to tell me the she hurt her knee waking up that morning. I think girls are too shady for me. They can’t even tell me ahead of time like a day or two before hand if they can’t play. No more girls for me.

I am also going to start my running thing tomorrow. I wonder how that will go since I haven’t run in a long long time. At least I know my roommate won’t stand me up. On Saturday, I also got the best deal ever. I bought a bike for $4!! As you can imagine, it will need a lot of work. Like new brakes and new tires, but otherwise it looked fine. I figure I can bring it into a bike shop and have someone fix the brakes for me. I think I can do the tires myself. It will definitely be an interesting experience.

Random Thoughts of the Week

I made a list of things I want to do before I get married. These are the things that I would want to accomplish.
1. Play in a tennis league. (I will be able to in the fall, but in the meantime I can just take lessons)
2. Run a 10K race (I will start training next week)
3. Get 6 pack (it shoudl come with all my exercise)
4. Backpack through Europe (dunno if I can find a buddy)
5. Get drunk ( I have never bee drunk before)
6. Have a crazy drug experience
7. Read Atlas Shrugged
8. Learn to play the guitar
9. Learn to swim
10. Go to Eusemites, Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, visit all the western states

I also think it woudl be nice to do Peace Corp and stuff, but I am giving that up. I think it's way too dangerous in this world plus all the other stuff like time.

I guess I will try to start from the beginning of the list. Since it's a little too much to do all in one day.

My one year birthday!!

I have officially completed my first year in mmy fellowship. Hard to believe, a year ago, I was just a wondering child coming to Utah. I came with two suitcases and two carry-ons full of stuff. I arrived late at night and my first stop was to Walmart to buy all the essentials such as sheets, toilet paper, bathroom essentials, and other random miscellenous things. The whole first week that I was here, I just wondered around buying things everyday. I spent my first night in a really cold apartment with my clothes as pillows and jackets and a blanket as my cover. Of course, I slept on the floor too. Slowly I upgraded to having a comforter, a mattress, and then a bed. It was pretty pathetic since I had my box as my dining table for the longest time, well i still don't have a table, but at least I have two bar stools to eat at the counter. Now I have so much stuff, it's making me wonder how I will be able to move out of my apartment. I even have two cars now. My other car arrived a week ago. Surprisingly with all the discounts I get for being me, the second car pretty much costs me nothing this year. It's great.

Well, now I go back to work, so I can get out early today. Well ok, 5 is pretty early. hehe.

Birthdays

Happy Birthdays to all the June babies! (Gloria, Jackie, Sarah)

It made me realized how old I am getting. We lived a quarter of a century, but I can't honestly tell you what I want to do. I used to think I was going to get a PharmD and an MPH so I can work for the FDA. Then I can use my public health background to strategically implement rules to improve healthcare delivery, more specifically in pharmaceuticals. I figure FDA will eventually start a new arm, but they never did. Now I am getting all these degrees, but I would have to try to improve the field through private industry. I want to work for the Department of Health, but what would that do? Here in Utah, they only have two pharmacists and I don't know what they do....

It is possible that I do a PhD in public health sicne I will be here for another 3 years, but would it be better if I get a MStat so I can do my own analysis better? With all this, I feel like I am losing touch with pharmacy, then in the end, I may never accomplish what I want bc I already lost my primary focus.. pharmacy. As you can see, I am a confused little girl. I guess for nwo, I will try to finish my degree and see who would offer me a job.

In the end, I may end up doing drug information or retail. Imagine, all these years of education down the drain. What a waste.

Weeekend

Interesting comment.. I have been working out a lot lately on DDR, tennis, and rollerblading just because the weather is so much nicer now. As per sex or no sex. Well, Clinton is coming out with his book regarding his relationship. While it seems like the general public is sexing away, what about the rest of us? Those of us that belives sex is sared. Well, as I see it, sex is like popcorn. Once you start having it, it's hard to stop even if it's not that great becasue you are addicted. Kinda like the korn of the popcorn... you have to spit it out, but you still have it bc you are addicted. I think that's just a waste to have sex with someone only bc your physical needs. However, I do understand why some people would do it, if they are able not to get attached and cute enough to always find a replacement when one model is breaking down. I don't think I fit in with either model so I would jsut suck it up and wait.

Then there is the other theory, what if you only do it with one person, but you will never know if there is anything better out there. As for that, have you ever heard of people hating sex? Also, there is probably a better one out there, just like everything else. If everyone is perfect, then there will be a new level of perfection. Also if they are perfect, why would they be with you if you are not perfect. I am by no means perfect so I can accept the fact my partner isn't perfect, sorry dude. Plus, if you think aobut it, there is always something better out there. Take for example a TV... I am sure not everyone of you have a flat screen, and if you do have a flat screen, I am sure not all of you have a plasma.... and if you have a plasma, there is a bigger one out there... and if you already have that then you should have a movie theater in your house and it goes on and on.

Don't get me wrong, I think sex is great, I just don't want the hassle now. The whole dependence, pregnancy, etc. I don't want my future baby to be an accident. How would she feel later on in life?

Hooray for the weekend...

Obviously from reading my journal you know I am not the best at keeping up with things. Well, my life is just a roller coaster. I got reviews back for this article I co-authored on, but the reviews were conflicting. Then today, I got the proof for the poster I presented at AMCP and it was the exact reprint of the poster. Now, my department thinks it would be double dipping if I publish at both places. While I can see their concern, but I feel the paper I submitted was a methodology piece while the article about my poster is what we found in the study. Anyhow, I am disappointed since I want publications. Now I have to decide on one or the other.

I decided today to be not as depressed. I think it's rediculous that I am sleeping so much when I can be much more productive doing something else. (I have been sleeping on average 10 hours a day! Sometimes I just lay in bed for no reason since I am wide awake) There are many theories to why this may be...... we can blame on the atmosphere since Utah has the highest anti-depressant use, we can blame on birth control since there is like a minimal chance of being depressed, we can blame on my boring job since I don't have my data, we can blame on me losing interest too easily.... but I guess after blaming everything, what can I do? I can't change them now. So I figure I should just try to find more friends. The question is where?

My first inclinition is going to a coffee shop. People are always so quiet there and you can just start talking and see who respond. I can go to a bookstore and pick up a controversial book. People tend to like make a comment or two about it. I can sit on the train all day until I find someone interesting. Or I could just go to a park and start kicking people around, but that may get me beat up. Any ideas?

My exciting career day

Well, today has been a very exciting day for me. I found out last night that my article is actually in print for people to read and my thesis got IRB approval. Then this morning I found out my abstract is accepted at the AMCP meeting in the fall. Granted I don't know what I want out of my career, at least whatever I am doing, people like it. :) The bad part is that I will have to actually do a poster now and that is usually a pain in the butt.
This weekend is my weekend away with my boy. We have been overwhelmed with work for so long that I think it will do us a lot of good to do this. I may have to put work in overdrive this weekend, but I guess it will be worth it.

Blah blah

Well, the general consensus is that I am crazy. Apparently there would be no one that would want a relationship far apart. My roomie would never do it so he says. At least not for that long. Waahhhh... I guess I want both ways. If I have Hermonie's time transport thing like in Harry Potter, then I would be all set. I can do both, but it's only a fictional character. Oh yeah, that movie is really good. I highly recommended to anyone that reads this.

Me

Hi all,

This is a new thing I am trying. Partly because I never keep in touch with you all, partly because I need advice. It's a fast way to get to everyone.

First, I want to say I had a blast in NJ. It was great to see people I know, hang out, drink untempered alcoholic drinks, and more.

I don't resent the life I have in UT. It is good, I have an overall entertaining job/school, a doting boyfriend, a cool roomie, a couple of friends/coworkers, and I am starting an Asian posse. I get to ski in the winter as much as I want and rollerblade in the summer. I must say it is the "simple" life I wanted when I first intended to move away from NJ.

Well, as you all pretty much know, I am pretty serious about my bf and I want to be with him and all that jazz. If we stay together I waould have to stay in SLC for another 3 years after I am done with my fellowship. Three years is no small feat. I guess for the first time in my life I cannot plan my life without thinking about someone else.

As you all know, I am a big planner. I plan what I want, when I want it, and how I want it. I know life is a journey, but for me, a journey is only fun if there is a destination with means of achieving that. I know what I want in a career, personal life, cars, and all other aspects of life. I even plan when I want to meet friends. As if they are pawns in chess. I don't think I ever have a doubt in what I want.

True, part of me always want to be an artchitect or an interior designer of some sort. At the same time, I always knew I would be able to do that once I am finished with setting up my career and can do that on the side.

When I was in NJ, I started to doubt my decisions. I wonder if I made the right choice in coming to UT. Would my life be better if I had just worked as a drug info specialist at Merck, worked at Rite Aid, or if I had any other jobs. Would I be happier if I had bought the townhouse in Edgewater, paying mortage and driving my Camry. I also wonder if it is worth it for me to stay in UT. I feel guilty for thinking that I am making a sacrifice to stay here for three years. I don't want to feel resentment later if I am not happy with my job.

I know people say that if I didn't come here, I wouldn't have met my bf. On the other hand, I missed out in meeting other people in NJ, which potentially could have been the one. (I don't believe there is only one match for a person, if that is the case, how do you explain most people marry within their geographic area?) I missed out on people's birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc because I was here.

I guess part of me is bitter because I didn't plan to meet someone here that wouldn't move back with me. I always figure if I met someone here, he will go with me to the east coast. Who would have thought I would date someone with a tied down job and a career already?

Anyhow, any comments? What do you think? Am I crazy?